Favorite Quotes

Favorite Quotes

 

The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking
with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.
A. A. Milne
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History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
Abba Eban
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How many legs does a dog have, if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.
Abraham Lincoln
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Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.
Abraham Lincoln
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When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.
Abraham Lincoln
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Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Abraham Lincoln
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.
Abraham Lincoln
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To the man who only has a hammer, everything he encounters begins to look like a nail.
Abraham Maslow
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My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular.
Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.
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I use emotion for the many and reserve reason for the few.
Adolf Hitler
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It is always more difficult to fight against faith than against knowledge.
Adolf Hitler
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Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped.
African proverb
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Do you realize if it weren’t for Edison we’d be watching TV by candlelight?
Al Boliska
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Any company large enough to have a research lab is too large to listen to it.
Alan Kay
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Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.
Albert Einstein
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Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein
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Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.
Albert Einstein
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Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Albert Einstein
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A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.
Albert Einstein
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Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.
Albert Einstein
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When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about.
Albert Einstein
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The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
Albert Einstein
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The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
Albert Einstein
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The person who reads too much and uses his brain too little will fall into lazy habits of thinking.
Albert Einstein
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Time and space are modes by which we think and not conditions in which we live.
Albert Einstein
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When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, you think it’s only a minute. But when you sit on a hot stove for a minute, you think it’s two hours. That’s relativity.

Albert Einstein
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There are people who, instead of listening to what is being said to them, are already listening to what they are going to say themselves.
Albert Guinon
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When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong– or absolutely right.
Albert Guinon
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An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
Aldous Huxley
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Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
Alexander Pope
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Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress.

Alfred A. Montapert
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It is easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them.
Alfred Adler
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The point of quotations is that one can use another’s words to be insulting.
Amanda Cross
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Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
Ambrose Bierce
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Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.
Ambrose Redmoon
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We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.
Anais Nin
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It is better to fail at your own life than to succeed at someone else’s.
André Gide
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People cannot discover new lands until they have the courage to lose sight of the shore.
André Gide
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Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
André Gide
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It is bad luck to be superstitious.
Andrew W. Mathis
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If the lessons of history teach us anything it is that nobody learns the lessons that history teaches us.
Anon
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Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
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What lies in our power to do, lies in our power not to do.
Aristotle
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It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
Aristotle
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We are what we repeatedly do; excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.
Aristotle
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Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.
Arthur Schopenhauer
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All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
Arthur Schopenhauer
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Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right.
Arthur Schopenhauer
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I’d rather live with a good question than a bad answer.

Aryeh Frimer

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The Argument from Intimidation is a confession of intellectual impotence.

Ayn Rand

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The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.

B. F. Skinner

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A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.

Baltasar Gracian

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Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

Barry LePatner

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A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away.

Thomas Jefferson

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Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought.

Basho

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Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock.

Ben Hechtquotations.

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Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth.

Benjamin Disrael

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Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.

Benjamin Franklin

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The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach.

Benjamin Mays

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What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?

Bertolt Brecht

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The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts.

Bertrand Russell

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No one gossips about other people’s secret virtues.

Bertrand Russell

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If a man is offered a fact which goes against his instincts, he will scrutinize it closely, and unless the evidence is overwhelming, he will refuse to believe it. If, on the other hand, he is offered something which affords a reason for acting in accordance to his instincts, he will accept it even on the slightest evidence. The origin of myths is explained in this way.

Bertrand Russel

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The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution.

Bertrand Russell

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I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

Bill Cosby

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If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.

Bill Lyon

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Thought is useful when it motivates for action, and a hindrance when it substitutes for action.

Bill Raeder

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An optimist stays up to see the New Year in. A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves.

Bill Vaughan

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We learn something every day, and lots of times it’s that what we learned the day before was wrong.

Bill Vaughan

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Careful. We don’t want to learn from this.

Bill Watterson

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I really wish I was less of a thinking man and more of a fool not afraid of rejection.

Billy Joel

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I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

Blaise Pascal

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A single question can be more influential than a thousand statements.

Bo Bennett

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A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

Bob Hop

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The less you know, the more you believe.

Bon

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When the student is ready the teacher will appear.

Buddhist Proverb

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Don’t ever wrestle with a pig. You’ll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it.

Cale Yarborough

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The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

Calvin Trillin

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Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

Carl Jung

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Just the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.

Carl Sagan

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Some people make things happen, some people watch things happen, and some ask what happened.

Casey Stengel

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If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.

Catherine Aird

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You don’t get anything clean without getting something else dirty.

Cecil Baxter

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Happiness is the absence of striving for happiness.

Chang-Tzu

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Fight for your opinions, but do not believe that they contain the whole truth, or the only truth.

Charles A. Dan

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The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don’t have to waste your time voting.

Charles Bukowski

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An inventor is simply a fellow who doesn’t take his education too seriously.

Charles F. Kettering

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Bureaucrats write memoranda both because they appear to be busy when they are writing and because the memos, once written, immediately become proof that they were busy.

Charles Peters

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By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

Charles Wadsworth

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He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

Chinese Proverb

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One dog barks at something. And a hundred dogs bark at the sound.

Chinese Proverb

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I hear: I forget / I see: I remember / I do: I understand

Chinese Prover

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Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.

Christopher Hampton

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There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.

Christopher Morle

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Inspiration is for amateurs. I just get to work.

Chuck Close

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In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is.

Chuck Reid

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When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I’m beginning to believe it.

Clarence Darrow

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Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.

Cullen Hightower

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There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say.

Cyril Connolly

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Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.

Cyril Connolly

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Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.

Dale Carnegie

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Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.

Dame Edna Everage

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Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.

Dandemis

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The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance – it is the illusion of knowledge.

Daniel J. Boorstin————————————————————————————————————————————

Procastination is not about not doing is about not doing and feeling crappy.

David Allen————————————————————————————————————————————You can do anything, but not everything.

David Allen————————————————————————————————————————————

It is said that power corrupts, but actually it’s more true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually attracted by other things than power.

David Brin————————————————————————————————————————————

A committee can make a decision that is dumber than any of its members.

David Cobitz

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The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations.

David Friedman

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Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn’t have in your home.

David Frost

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Don’t be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can’t cross a chasm in two small jumps.

David Lloyd George

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The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.

David Richerby

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The more you know, the more you realise how much you don’t know — the less you know, the more you think you know.

David T. Freeman

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Simple, clear purpose and principles give rise to complex and intelligent behavior. Complex rules and regulations give rise to simple and stupid behavior.

Dee Hoc

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The first step toward success will be the biggest one.

Dennis Waitley

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There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

Dick Cavett

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It’s a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn’t want to hear.

Dick Cavett

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If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t, either.

Dick Cavett

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There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.

Don Herold

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Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Don Marquis

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If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much.

Donald H. Rumsfeld

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The art of simplicity is a puzzle of complexity.

Doug Horton

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Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

Doug Larson

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I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Douglas Adams

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Hofstadter’s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter’s Law.

Douglas Hofstadter

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In God we trust; all others bring data.

Dr. Edwards Deming

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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

Dr. Seuss

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The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.

Dudley Moore

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In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

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I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.

E. B. White

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Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.

E. W. Dijkstra

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I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.

Edith Sitwell

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If only we’d stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.

Edith Wharton

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Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
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Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn’t mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.

Edward R. Murrow

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The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think.

Edwin Schlossberg

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No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Eleanor Roosevelt

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Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for – in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.

Ellen Goodman

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The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

Ellen Parr

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I don’t know anything about music. In my line you don’t have to.

Elvis Presley

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If the human mind was simple enough to understand, we’d be too simple to understand it.

Emerson Pugh

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If voting changed anything, they’d make it illegal.

Emma Goldman

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There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.

Epitectus

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You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.

Eric Hoffer

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When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.

Eric Hoffer

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The opposite of the religious fanatic is not the fanatical atheist but the gentle cynic who cares not whether there is a god or not.

Eric Hoffer

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Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.

Erica Jong

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Courage is grace under pressure.

Ernest Hemingway

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You can’t get away from yourself by moving from one place to another. There’s nothing to that.

Ernest Hemingway

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A happy life is just a string of happy moments. But most people don’t allow the happy moment, because they’re so busy trying to get a happy life.

Esther Hicks

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Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it’s important.

Eugene McCarthy

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Character is what you have left when you’ve lost everything you can lose.

Evan Esar

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America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Evan Esar

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We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld

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Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

Lao Tze

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We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.

Frank Tibolt

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Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Frank Zappa

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The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.

Franklin P. Jones

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Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Franklin P. Jones

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A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Fred Allen

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Insanity in individuals is something rare – but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

Friedrich Nietzsche

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The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.

Friedrich Nietzsche

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Education… has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading.

G. M. Trevelyan

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I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

Galileo Galilei

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I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn’t learn something from him.

Galileo Galilei

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You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Gandh

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My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.

Garry Shandling

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I’ve been trying for some time to develop a lifestyle that doesn’t require my presence.

Gary Trudeau

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Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together.

Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

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My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.

George Bernard Shaw

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The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.

George Bernard Sha

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Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.

George Bernard Shaw

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Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

George Burns

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You know you’re getting old when you stop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.

George Burns

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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

George Burns

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Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because its much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?

George Carlin

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The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.

George F. Will

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All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.

George Orwell

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Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

George Santayana

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A physicist is an atom’s way of knowing about atoms.

George Wald

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I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world.

Georges Duhamel

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Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.

Gordon R. Dickson

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2 is not equal to 3, not even for large values of 2.

Grabel’s Law

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Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

Groucho Marx

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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Groucho Marx

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There is no truth. There is only perception.

Gustave Flaubert

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All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.

H. L. Mencken

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There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.

Harold Stephens

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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up – they have no holidays.

Henny Youngman

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My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

Henny Youngman

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Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought.

Henri Bergson

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Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house and a collection of facts is not necessarily science.

Henri Poincare

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Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence.

Henrik Tikkanen

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Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.

Henry David Thoreau

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A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.

Henry David Thoreau

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Whether you think you can or think you can’t — you are right.

Henry Ford

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Writing is good, thinking is better. Cleverness is good, patience is better

Hermann Hesse

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If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.

Hermann Hesse

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The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand things well.

Horace Walpole

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Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.

Immanuel Kant

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If the doctor told me I had six minutes to live, I’d type a little faster.

Isaac Asimov

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Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.

Isaac Asimov

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If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.

Isaac Newton

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Once the game is over, the King and the pawn go back in the same box.

Italian Proverb

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I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either.

Jack Benny

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I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

JackieMason

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It’s no longer a question of staying healthy. It’s a question of finding a sickness you like.

Jackie Mason

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The world can only be grasped by action, not by contemplation.

Jacob Bronowski

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Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die today.

James Dean

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Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

James F. Byrnes

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A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.

James Feibleman

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It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.

James Thurber

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He knows all about art, but he doesn’t know what he likes.

James Thurber

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No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find people on your side that you wish were on the other.

Jascha Heifetz

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Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you is determinism; the way you play it is free will.

Jawaharlal Nehru

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Only the mediocre are always at their best.

Jean Giraudoux

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A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward.

Jean Paul Richte

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My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.

Jean Rostand

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A good tool improves the way you work. A great tool improves the way you think.

Jeff Duntemann

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A person who trusts no one can’t be trusted.

Jerome Blattner

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I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Jerome K. Jerome

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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Jerry Seinfeld

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If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.

Jewish Proverb

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If the phone doesn’t ring, it’s me.

Jimmy Buffet

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We are the people our parents warned us about.

Jimmy Buffett

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The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.

Joe Ancis

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If it weren’t for my lawyer, I’d still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging.

Joe Martin

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It is in self-limitation that a master first shows himself.

Johann Goethe

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Mistrust the man who finds everything good, the man who finds everything evil and still more the man who is indifferent to everything.

Johann K. Lavater

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In mathematics you don’t understand things. You just get used to them.

Johann von Neumann

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The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable.

John Kenneth Galbrait

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A man always has two reasons for what he does-a good one, and the real one.

John Pierpont Morgan

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What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do.

John Ruskin

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We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems.

John W. Gardner

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Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don’t know which half.

John Wanamaker

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Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

John Wilmo

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No wise man ever wished to be younger.

Jonathan Swift

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Man has to suffer. When he has no real afflictions, he invents some.

Jose Marti

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I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.

Joseph Baretti

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A fine quotation is a diamond on the finger of a man of wit, and a pebble in the hand of a fool.

Joseph Roux

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A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.

Joseph Stalin

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Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of someone else.

Judy Garland

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Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Jules de Gaultier

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Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

Jules Renard

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It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

Krishnamurti

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If you want truly to understand something, try to change it.

Kurt Lewin

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Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

Kurt Vonnegut

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Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.

Kurt Vonnegut

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A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Lao Tzu

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Truth over Harmony.

Larry Bossidy

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Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Laurence J. Peter

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Any event, once it has occurred, can be made to appear inevitable by a competent historian.

Lee Simonson

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Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.

Leo Tolstoy

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Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

Leonardo da Vinci

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Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of nonessentials.

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Lian Yutang
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

Lily Tomli

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The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.

Lily Tomlin

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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

Lily Tomlin

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When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean.

Lin-Chi

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The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas.

Linus Pauling

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The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it.

Lord Macaulay

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Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it.

Lou Holtz

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Love thy neighbour as yourself, but choose your neighbourhood.

Louise Beal

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Wisdom is knowing the right path to take… Integrity is taking it.

M. H. McKee

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It is more important to know where you are going than to get there quickly.

Mabel Newcomber

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The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would solve most the worlds problems.

Gandhi

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An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.

Gandhi

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God has no religion.

Gandhi

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Education’s purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.

Malcolm Forbes

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The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new lands but seeing with new eyes.

Marcel Proust

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Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses.

Margaret Millar

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Times have not become more violent. They have just become more televised.

Marilyn Manson

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To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.

Marilyn vos Savant

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If everything’s under control, you’re going too slow.

Mario Andretti

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It is surprinsingly how easy it is to forget that the way to get things done is to do them.

Mark Forster

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The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

Mark Twain

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Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.

Mark Twain

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Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.

Mark Twain

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To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did; I ought to know because I’ve done it a thousand times.

Mark Twain

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A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

Mark Twain

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If you eat a frog first thing in the morning, the rest of your day will be wonderful.

Mark Twain

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If you have to eat a frog, don’t look at it for too long.

Mark Twain

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If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.

Mark Twain

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It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

Mark Twain

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Never put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after tomorrow.

Mark Twain

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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to pause and reflect.

Mark Twain

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When a thought is too weak to be expressed simply, simply drop it.

Marquis de Vauvenargues

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I don’t necessarily agree with everything I say.

Marshall McLuhan

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There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.

Mary Wilson Little

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If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

Mel Brooks

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The coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave man…only five hundred.

Meredith Willson

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I can accept failure, but I can’t accept not trying.

Michael Jordan

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The more you can dream, the more you can do.

Michael Korda

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You don’t stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.

Michael Pritchard

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Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.

Mickey Mouse

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A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears.

Montaigne

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We can do no great things, only small things with great love.

Mother Teresa

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A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
Murphy’s Law of Computing
Never ascribe to malice, that which can be explained by incompetence.

Napoleon (Hanlon’s Razor)

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History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.

Napoleon Bonaparte

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Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

Napoleon Bonaparte

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I’ve gone into hundreds of [fortune-teller’s parlors], and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her.

New York City detective

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The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Niels Bohr

I like long walks, especi

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ally when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Noel Coward

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Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.

Nora Ephron

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When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Norm Crosby

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There is no greater impotence in all the world like knowing you are right and that the wave of the world is wrong, yet the wave crashes upon you.

Norman Mailer

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Heroism consists of hanging on one minute longer.

Norwegian saying

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You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.

Olin Miller

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The little I know I owe to my ignorance.

Orville Mars

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What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.

Oscar Levant

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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Oscar Wilde

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True friends stab you in the front.

Oscar Wilde

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Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Oscar Wilde

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I am not young enough to know everything.

Oscar Wilde

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Truth, in matters of religion, is simply the opinion that has survived.

Oscar Wilde

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Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

Oscar Wilde

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There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.

Oscar Wilde

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Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is.

Oscar Wilde

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Laws are like sausages. It’s better not to see them being made.

Otto von Bismarck

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Action is the foundational key to all success.

Pablo Picasso

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Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

Pablo Picasso

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The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.

Paul Valery

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There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.

Peter F. Drucker

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Some people have so much respect for their superiors they have none left for themselves.

Peter McArthur

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Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.

Plato

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Write drunk, revise sober.

Poet’s Motto

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I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated.

Poul Anderso

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Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand.

Putt’s Law

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Some things have to be believed to be seen.

Ralph Hodgson

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The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority.

Ralph W. Sockman

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I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance.

Ray Bradbury

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A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities; an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.

Reginald B. Mansell

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Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change thing I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

Reinhold Niebuhr

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Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.

Rene Descartes

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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Rich Cook

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I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

Richard Lewi

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One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Rita Mae Brown

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An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.

Robert A. Humphrey

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Understanding is simple. Knowing is complicated.

Robert Fripp

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A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Robert Frost

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Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–/ I took the one less traveled by, / And that has made all the difference.

Robert Fros

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While I am opposed to all orthodox creeds, I have a creed myself; and my creed is this. Happiness is the only good. The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. The way to be happy is to make others so. This creed is somewhat short, but it is long enough for this life, strong enough for this world. If there is another world, when we get there we can make another creed.

Robert Green Ingersoll

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Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.

Robert Heinlein

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The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.

Robert M. Pirsig

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It is a puzzling thing. The truth knocks on the door and you say, ‘Go away, I’m looking for the truth.’ and so it goes away. Puzzling.

Robert M. Pirsig

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When one person suffers from a delusion It is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion It is called Religion.

Robert M. Pirsig

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There’s so much pollution in the air now that if it weren’t for our lungs there’d be no place to put it all.

Robert Orben

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We’ve heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.

Robert Wilensky

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If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

Robert X. Cringely

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I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Rodney Dangerfield

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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

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If there’s only one answer, then this must not be a very interesting topic.

Ron Jeffries

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Nobody believes the official spokesman… but everybody trusts an unidentified source.

Ron Nese

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Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born.

Ronald Reagan

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After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, ‘No hablo ingles.’

Ronnie Shakes

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Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories – those that don’t work, those that break down and those that get lost.

Russell Baker

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O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.

Saint Augustine

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There are more tears shed over answered prayers than over unanswered prayers.

Saint Theresa of Jesus

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You almost never get the pleasure of seeing that you won the argument in real time. People just don’t like to publicly change their minds. They change their minds in private.

Sam Harris

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What shapes our lives are the questions we ask, refuse to ask, or never think to ask.

Sam Keen

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Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.

Sam Levenson

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It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.

Sam Levenson

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What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure.

Samuel Johnson

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Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.

Samuel Johnson

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If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Scott Adams

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If you can eliminate all the other choices, the remaining choice, no matter how improbable, is the answer.

Sherlock Holmes

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In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.

Shunryu Suzuki

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An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

Simon Cameron

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Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.

Sir Arthur Eddington

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I don’t mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don’t understand.

Sir Edward Appleto

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By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher… and that is a good thing for any man.

Socrates

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The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.

Socrates

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The unexamined life is not worth living.

Socrates

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True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us.

Socrates

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To a brave man, good and bad luck are like his left and right hand. He uses both.

St Catherine of Siena

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When you’re young, you look at television and think, There’s a conspiracy. The networks have conspired to dumb us down. But when you get a little older, you realize that’s not true. The networks are in business to give people exactly what they want. That’s a far more depressing thought. Conspiracy is optimistic! You can shoot the bastards!

Steve Jobs

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Failure to plan ahead on your part does not create an emergency on my part.

Steven Dutch

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With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

Steven Weinberg

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Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Susan Erz

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Fortune does not change men, it unmasks them.

Suzanne Necker

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When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’

Sydney J. Harris

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Have the courage to be ignorant of a great number of things, in order to avoid the calamity of being ignorant of everything.

Sydney Smith

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If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.

Tallulah Bankhead

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We don’t see the things the way they are. We see things the way WE are.

Talmund

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If I only had a little humility, I’d be perfect.

Ted Turner

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There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.

Terence

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Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority.

Thomas H. Huxley

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Try to learn something about everything and everything about something.

Thomas H. Huxle

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The way to succeed is to double your error rate.

Thomas J. Watson

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In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known.

Thomas Pickering

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When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.

Thomas Szasz

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Invention is the mother of necessity.

Thorstein Veblen

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I have such a high regard for the truth that I use it sparingly.

Timothy Connor

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Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

Timothy Leary

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A cult is a religion with no political power.

Tom Wolfe

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The best way to get a better answer is to start asking a better question.

Tony Robbins

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The things you own end up owning you.
Tyler Durden, in Fight Club
The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else.

Umberto Ec

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Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.

Vernon Sanders Law

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Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

Victor Borge

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I don’t mind what Congress does, as long as they don’t do it in the streets and frighten the horses.

Victor Hugo

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Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time, to figure out whether you like it or not.

Virgil Garnett Thomson

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Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.

W. H. Auden

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The very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself.

Wallace Wattles

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You’ve achieved success in your field when you don’t know whether what you’re doing is work or play.

Warren Beatty

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It makes more sense to buy a wonderful business at a fair price than it does to buy a fair business at a wonderful price.

Warren Buffet

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You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.

Wayne Gretzky

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Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Wendell Johnson

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Research is what I’m doing when I don’t know what I’m doing.

Wernher von Braun

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The truth is that there is nothing noble in being superior to somebody else. The only real nobility is in being superior to your former self.

Whitney Young

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Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

Will Rogers

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The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time.

Willem de Kooning

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The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.

William Arthur Ward

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It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.

William Blake

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It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.

William G. McAdoo

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The future is here. It’s just not widely distributed yet.

William Gibson

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I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.

William H. Mauldin

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After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say I want to see the manager.

William S. Burrough

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When two men in business always agree, one of them is unnecessary.

William Wrigley Jr.

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I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.

Wilson Mizner

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Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.

Winston Churchil

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A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.

Winston Churchill

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I took a speed reading course and read ‘War and Peace’ in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

Woody Allen

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If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.

Woody Allen

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No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded.

Yogi Berra

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Before enlightnment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightnment, chop wood, carry water.

Zen proverb

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People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.

Zig Zigla

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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Henny Youngman

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It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

Mark Twain

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When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.

Mark Twain

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Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspision that he is trying to be funny.

Guy Davenport

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Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.

Oscar Wilde

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Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.

Franklin P. Jones

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A conclusion is the place where you got tired thinking.

Martin H. Fischer

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Never believe anything until it has been officially denied.

Claud Cockburn

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I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Fran Lebowitz

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First we make our habits, then our habits make us.

Charles C. Nobl

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The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

Samuel Johnson

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Until you’ve lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was.

Margaret Mitchell

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A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.

Thomas Manne

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I never apologize. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am.

Homer Simpson

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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Groucho Marx

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Never try and teach a pig to think … It doesn’t work, and will only upset the pig.

Unknown Author

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A genius! For 37 years I’ve practised fourteen hours a day, and now they call me a genius!

Pablo Sarasate

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If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them.

Henry David Thoreau

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The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.

Andrew S. Tanenbaum

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Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.

Carl Jung

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My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what’s really going on to be scared.

P. J. Plauger

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Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Woody Allen

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‘Someday’ is the day after you die.

Steve Pavlin

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I can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

Fred Allen

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Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

Groucho Marx

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You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.
Buddha
Who is wise? He who learns from all men.

Ben Zoma

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Dream is not the thing what you see in sleep, dream is the thing that does not let you sleep.

Adbul Kalam

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If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery, it wouldn’t seem so wonderful at all.

Michelangelo

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When I was young, I observed that nine out of ten things I did were failures. So I did ten times more work.
George Bernard Shaw
There are only two ways of telling the complete truth–anonymously and posthumously.

Thomas Sowell

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When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

George Bernard Shaw

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Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.

Charles M. Schulz

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Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.

Spanish Proverb

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You can never get enough of what you don’t really need.

Eric Hoffer

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Time is that quality of nature which keeps events from happening all at once. Lately it doesn’t seem to be working
Unknown Author
An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years. A competent attorney can delay one even longer.

Evelle J. Younger

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I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Kurt Cobain

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Practice doesn’t make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect.

Vince Lombardi

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Never judge a book by its movie.

J. W. Eagan

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The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is.

George Bernard Shaw

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I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.

Jack Handey

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A man is but the product of his thoughts; what he thinks, he becomes.

Gandhi

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Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we’ve been bombing over the years been complaining?
George Wallace
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It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.

Albert Einstein

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I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

Mark Twain

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Time is the stuff life is made of.

Benjamin Franklin

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Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted.

John Lennon

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I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some.

Herbert Rappaport

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When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.

George Bernard Shaw

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Silence is so accurate.

Mark Rothko

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Money doesn’t change you; it reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice.

Unknown Author

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Quiet is the absence of sound. Silence is the presence of silence.

Robert Fripp

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Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

H. L. Mencken

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If you don’t make mistakes, you’re not working on hard enough problems. And that’s a big mistake.

Frank Wilczek

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The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

George Bernard Shaw

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It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.

Harry Truman

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I don’t care what is written about me so long as it isn’t true.

Dorothy Parke

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I don’t know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn’t.

Jules Renard

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The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.

Michael Althsuler

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The art of progress is to preserve order amid change and to preserve change amid order.

Alfred North Whitehead

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You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.

Naguib Mahfouz

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The difference between death and taxes is death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.

Will Rogers

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